I'm not going to beat about the bush my life is pretty mundane I should probably do more with my days weeks and hours. But I find there are not enough hours hours in the day. For example today I worked on my dissertation proposal (lost track of time), tidied up a huge amount of stuff , played the ukulele (yes I'm still doing that - its going well so far) and then I made dinner. Defiantly not exciting. I don't pass the days by doing the same thing but sometimes I find the days can blend into each other and become a bit dry. I'm hoping at this point I don't sound like Esther form the bell jar. Because I do love my boring days in all their colour and glory and each does have a richness to it what ever I do. Anyway I'm going to attempt not to ramble and get to the point now. This morning I had a fleeting though as people do on occasions and today that though was pictures. Today in modern times we are flooded with pictures whether they are still or moving most of the content people consume is an image. I do have a healthy appreciation for both pictures and moving images but I do wonder whether people relay too much on pictures and images. While I understand that pictures and video express a whole new side of life. Imagination that reading can bring in important too . Maybe I prefer written content because I feel uncomfortable round cameras and I have never been able to see the world clearly because I have to wear glasses. But anyway whatever the reason I have found pictures hard to comprehend, so because life is supposed to about self improvement. I am going to try and take more pictures and try to see out of myself more as well as making more memories that I can take pictures of in my mind or on a camera.
That's all folks
Wednesday, 4 June 2014
Tuesday, 3 June 2014
03/06/2014 - And shyness can stop you.
Shyness -
The western world in becoming a increasingly interconnected place through the medium of technology, and because of this people have taken to the internet in their thousands to write about their experiences of depression and social anxiety. I myself do not feel like a socially anxious person but I have felt all my life that I am shy.
This may be because people in my environment have always told me I am shy or I may have been shy people labeled me as 'shy' which I feel has developed into a self fulfilling prophecy. But either I identity as a shy and withdrawn person.
Shyness as defined by the America Psychological Association- " is the tendency to feel awkward, worried or tense during social encounters, especially with unfamiliar people. Severely shy people may have physical symptoms like blushing, sweating, a pounding heart or upset stomach; negative feelings about themselves; worries about how others view them; and a tendency to withdraw from social interactions. "
I when I am faced with new social situations I get an overwhelming feeling of not knowing what to say and how to react and I feel that I would like someone to come and tell me what to do in new social situations Although shyness may not be as sever as social anxiety or depression I feel that shyness should not be ignored and should be considered more of an issue. As perhaps being labeled and being told that you are shy at a young age does have an effect on your future personality. Maybe as an adult now I am aware of myself and how I handle social situations I should be able to change my feelings and deal with shyness better.
This is a part of myself that I am going to have to accept and try to change as I get older and I am faced with an increasing number of new situations.
The western world in becoming a increasingly interconnected place through the medium of technology, and because of this people have taken to the internet in their thousands to write about their experiences of depression and social anxiety. I myself do not feel like a socially anxious person but I have felt all my life that I am shy.
This may be because people in my environment have always told me I am shy or I may have been shy people labeled me as 'shy' which I feel has developed into a self fulfilling prophecy. But either I identity as a shy and withdrawn person.
Shyness as defined by the America Psychological Association- " is the tendency to feel awkward, worried or tense during social encounters, especially with unfamiliar people. Severely shy people may have physical symptoms like blushing, sweating, a pounding heart or upset stomach; negative feelings about themselves; worries about how others view them; and a tendency to withdraw from social interactions. "
I when I am faced with new social situations I get an overwhelming feeling of not knowing what to say and how to react and I feel that I would like someone to come and tell me what to do in new social situations Although shyness may not be as sever as social anxiety or depression I feel that shyness should not be ignored and should be considered more of an issue. As perhaps being labeled and being told that you are shy at a young age does have an effect on your future personality. Maybe as an adult now I am aware of myself and how I handle social situations I should be able to change my feelings and deal with shyness better.
This is a part of myself that I am going to have to accept and try to change as I get older and I am faced with an increasing number of new situations.
Sunday, 1 June 2014
30/05/2014
On Friday I randomly decided to get on a train and go to Birmingham for the day. This might not seem thrilling to most people but for me this was out of the ordinary. Most of the time I spend too much weighing up the pros and cons of a situation and worrying the possible outcomes of the situation. This has inspired me to make a list of things to keep in mind when I am faced with a problem.
1.) Don't over think - I have a chronic problem of over thinking just about everything I do, this I have come to find makes the problem seem a thousand times worse than it is.
2) Don't over analyse- Okay I suppose this relates to the previous point in a way. But it is slightly different, I tend to go over every possible outcome for situations and this leads to me worrying about the problem more than I should do.
3) Don't dwell on the negatives- I tend to focus on the negative parts of a problem I am faced makes me want to not deal confront the problem and run away from it.
4) Don't stress - This is a big one for me I tend to become stressed over the smallest things on occasion and this stops me from doing things I may want to do and stops me living the fulfilled life.
That's all for today folks.
Stepping Forward
Moving on from my lack of direction post I have now decided not only to tackle one project but TWO.
TWO Challenges ! What are they I hear you say. So hear goes
Challenge 1.) Firstly I have decided to challenge myself to learn the ukulele and NOT under no circumstances give up trying which is what I tend to do. I know this is only a small thing to do but intend to stick at it.
Challenge 2.) This I feel is going to be MUCH more difficult, I am going to challenge myself to try a new experience everyday. This is because I feel that my life lacks spontaneity and adventure and I feel that I should embrace this side of myself in order to get myself going in a exciting direction.
The next test for me is whether I will be able to keep it up that is why I am going to track my progress via this blog.
That's all for today folks.
TWO Challenges ! What are they I hear you say. So hear goes
Challenge 1.) Firstly I have decided to challenge myself to learn the ukulele and NOT under no circumstances give up trying which is what I tend to do. I know this is only a small thing to do but intend to stick at it.
Challenge 2.) This I feel is going to be MUCH more difficult, I am going to challenge myself to try a new experience everyday. This is because I feel that my life lacks spontaneity and adventure and I feel that I should embrace this side of myself in order to get myself going in a exciting direction.
The next test for me is whether I will be able to keep it up that is why I am going to track my progress via this blog.
That's all for today folks.
Wednesday, 28 May 2014
Direction.
Most people we meet in everyday life have some idea about the direction they want to go in and the path they want to take. I have none I wing it so to speak all the time. I currently feel that my life and the projects in my life lack direction. That is why want to find a project that gives me a purpose of what I want to do , and where I go. This realization that my life lacks direction has gradually crept me on me as I recently read a newspaper article where it stated that a study had found that people who felt that their lives had meaning and where going in a known direction lived longer. So that is why I am going to think up a project that I can do that provides me with a sense of meaning and purpose and gets my life going in a chosen direction
That's all for today folks
That's all for today folks
Wednesday, 12 March 2014
My dyslexic experience
I have made a promise to myself to remember that I have started a blog so I will try and update it as often as possible.
Dyslexia has been a part of my life since I was about 7 years old and even before that I remember struggling with reading and writing in school. I didn't learn to read properly until I was 10 and I have always felt there is a huge gap between my peers and through out the course of my education.
When I was a child I thought having dyslexia was the most embarrassing thing in the world. So for a long time I tried to pretend that I wasn't dyslexia and didn't have a problem or need special help with my reading and writing. All through primary school I hated been taken out of class away from my peers to have help with my reading , writing and spelling.
When I got to secondary school they school initially did offer me help but I refused to have help in school. But my parents could still see that I was struggling with keeping up with my peers at school so they sent me to a tutor to help me with my spelling and reading. But I was still very embarrassed that I had to see a tutor to help me spell and read so I used to lie to my friend about where I had to be on Tuesday night after school. I stopped seeing my tutor when I finished my GCSE which I somehow passed. But I did have to work very hard just to get mostly C grade GCSE. Once I recall my English teacher being surprised that I had got a B in the English coursework as she knew that I had dyslexia and she asked me if I had done the coursework myself.
Then I started my A levels and somehow forgot that I had dyslexia and ended up getting 3 B's. Which at the time I thought was a breeze but I didn't realize how had I had worked to get the grades I did. So when I got to university and found myself struggling with all the readings and the coursework I finally stopped denying I didn't have a problem. Now at university is the first time in my life where I have come to understand that I have a problem which is not a burden. But something that I need help and support with. And is a part of who I am.
Having dyslexia is one of the reasons I have started a blog. I want to be able to clearly communicate what I am saying via writing as recently I have been thinking of becoming a journalist when I eventually graduate form university.
That is why I hope this blog will help me in learning how to write clearly so I can improve my writing skills which I will then be able to use in my university assignments and for a future career.
I just realized I confused had for made in the first line. Because I didn't proof read my bad.
My life is pretty much like a dyslexic man walks into a bra.
I still for ever make spelling and grammar mistakes on Facebook in emails and via text so I always have a fear that people won't grasp what I am trying to convay.
Hope this helps.
Dyslexia has been a part of my life since I was about 7 years old and even before that I remember struggling with reading and writing in school. I didn't learn to read properly until I was 10 and I have always felt there is a huge gap between my peers and through out the course of my education.
When I was a child I thought having dyslexia was the most embarrassing thing in the world. So for a long time I tried to pretend that I wasn't dyslexia and didn't have a problem or need special help with my reading and writing. All through primary school I hated been taken out of class away from my peers to have help with my reading , writing and spelling.
When I got to secondary school they school initially did offer me help but I refused to have help in school. But my parents could still see that I was struggling with keeping up with my peers at school so they sent me to a tutor to help me with my spelling and reading. But I was still very embarrassed that I had to see a tutor to help me spell and read so I used to lie to my friend about where I had to be on Tuesday night after school. I stopped seeing my tutor when I finished my GCSE which I somehow passed. But I did have to work very hard just to get mostly C grade GCSE. Once I recall my English teacher being surprised that I had got a B in the English coursework as she knew that I had dyslexia and she asked me if I had done the coursework myself.
Then I started my A levels and somehow forgot that I had dyslexia and ended up getting 3 B's. Which at the time I thought was a breeze but I didn't realize how had I had worked to get the grades I did. So when I got to university and found myself struggling with all the readings and the coursework I finally stopped denying I didn't have a problem. Now at university is the first time in my life where I have come to understand that I have a problem which is not a burden. But something that I need help and support with. And is a part of who I am.
Having dyslexia is one of the reasons I have started a blog. I want to be able to clearly communicate what I am saying via writing as recently I have been thinking of becoming a journalist when I eventually graduate form university.
That is why I hope this blog will help me in learning how to write clearly so I can improve my writing skills which I will then be able to use in my university assignments and for a future career.
I just realized I confused had for made in the first line. Because I didn't proof read my bad.
My life is pretty much like a dyslexic man walks into a bra.
I still for ever make spelling and grammar mistakes on Facebook in emails and via text so I always have a fear that people won't grasp what I am trying to convay.
Hope this helps.
Tuesday, 11 March 2014
I forgot I started a blog
So I forget I started a blog.
I haven't even been what you would describe as busy because I am a student who only has to attend university 12 hours a week or less. So that is no excuse. So I've pretty much been wasting my time binge watching Tv shows ( If binge watching tv shows was an Olympic sport I would get the gold medal).
Carrying on with the Tv show theme , I have now decided that I am going give a quick review of my top 5 tv shows.
1. Breaking Bad-
Okay I know that pretty much everyone on the planet has watching this program. I don't know how people can't be sucked into the universe of Walter White (or heisenberg ). I personally think the character development in this show is great you get to see an ordinary guy transform from a mild mannered chemistry teacher into a big shot drug lord and the highs and lows he encounters along the way.
Also just seeing a caravan makes me think could that be a meth lab ???? You never know....
2. Heroes -
Your probably thinking why mention Heroes didn't that finish in 2010. Yes , yes it did is the answer to that. But I for one was very disappointing with the ending of Heroes there was so many questions that were left unanswered for me.
But it was recently announced that there will be a Heroes Reborn starting in 2015 and I for one can not wait. 3. How I met Your mother-
I didn't know if I was going to include this or the Big Bang theory as that is pretty good too. But how I met your mother won.
This show I found was BETTER than Friends yes I said it. I love the comedy in this at first I thought they are basically ripping off Friends but how wrong I was.
Barney Stinson is one of the best sitcom characters out there I reckon. Although I think how I met your mother is a great show that 9th season has not been brilliant but it is ending soon and I will be upset when it dose.
I would have been upset if I hadn't met Ted.
4. New Girl-
Zooey deschanel is brilliant. I am glad I get to see her on Tv every week. Everything with New Girl just works.
Also its a bit hipster and I like it.
5. Anything by Chris Lilley
I used to secretly hate Little Britain. But then I discovered Summer Heights High and it was bloody brilliant. Chris Lilley dose a great job of emphasizing the funniest characteristic of people and he dose it in such a convincing way I now believe that he is a 17 year old private school girl called Ja'mie.
Summer Heights High I think was his best creation as the characters in that were really memorable so I was glad that it was announced that he would be working on a show called Jonah based on one of his other Summer heights high characters.
Now he just needs to take on Mr G.
So that's all for today folks
and I will try and remember to actually update this blog.
I haven't even been what you would describe as busy because I am a student who only has to attend university 12 hours a week or less. So that is no excuse. So I've pretty much been wasting my time binge watching Tv shows ( If binge watching tv shows was an Olympic sport I would get the gold medal).
Carrying on with the Tv show theme , I have now decided that I am going give a quick review of my top 5 tv shows.
1. Breaking Bad-
Okay I know that pretty much everyone on the planet has watching this program. I don't know how people can't be sucked into the universe of Walter White (or heisenberg ). I personally think the character development in this show is great you get to see an ordinary guy transform from a mild mannered chemistry teacher into a big shot drug lord and the highs and lows he encounters along the way.
Also just seeing a caravan makes me think could that be a meth lab ???? You never know....
2. Heroes -
Your probably thinking why mention Heroes didn't that finish in 2010. Yes , yes it did is the answer to that. But I for one was very disappointing with the ending of Heroes there was so many questions that were left unanswered for me.
But it was recently announced that there will be a Heroes Reborn starting in 2015 and I for one can not wait. 3. How I met Your mother-
I didn't know if I was going to include this or the Big Bang theory as that is pretty good too. But how I met your mother won.
This show I found was BETTER than Friends yes I said it. I love the comedy in this at first I thought they are basically ripping off Friends but how wrong I was.
Barney Stinson is one of the best sitcom characters out there I reckon. Although I think how I met your mother is a great show that 9th season has not been brilliant but it is ending soon and I will be upset when it dose.
I would have been upset if I hadn't met Ted.
4. New Girl-
Zooey deschanel is brilliant. I am glad I get to see her on Tv every week. Everything with New Girl just works.
Also its a bit hipster and I like it.
5. Anything by Chris Lilley
I used to secretly hate Little Britain. But then I discovered Summer Heights High and it was bloody brilliant. Chris Lilley dose a great job of emphasizing the funniest characteristic of people and he dose it in such a convincing way I now believe that he is a 17 year old private school girl called Ja'mie.
Summer Heights High I think was his best creation as the characters in that were really memorable so I was glad that it was announced that he would be working on a show called Jonah based on one of his other Summer heights high characters.
Now he just needs to take on Mr G.
So that's all for today folks
and I will try and remember to actually update this blog.
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